For some it’s the special sauce from Holland, for others its olive oil or butter. For me its the lovely whipped creation of oil, eggs and seasonings that is mayonnaise. There is very little guilt when devouring the delicately white shiny condiment when it is resting on a speared veggie.
Mayonnaise, to which I believe there is only one kind, and that is Best Foods brand, is one of those condiments that can’t be substituted or replicated by the likes of Kraft or Miracle Whip. Dating beck to the seventeen hundreds, even the French have come up with something tasty other then a fried potato.
A sandwich without mayo; Why? Macaroni salad, no mayo? Dry pasta. French fries with ketchup; how plain vanilla. Asparagus without mayo? Why bother, eat a salad. And there would be no reason for canned tuna if it weren’t for the lovely white stuff with a blue lid.
Mayonnaise is one of those forgotten condiments that sits on the refrigerator door waiting, like so many other jars from isle 11, to be scooped in all of its congealed goodness onto a plate for delicate dipping or spread on some bread to elevate water packed ham.
So next time you order a basket of fries, or grill asparagus, remember mayo can make it better. Because really they’re all just a vehicle for mayonnaise.
(And since it now comes in a squeezable container there really is no excuse not to.)
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3 comments:
OK, so the question gets asked....if you are on a desert island with only one condiment, is it mayo or mustard? I would have to say mustard, although, there is nothing like a bologna-mayo sandwich on white wonder-bread, or how about one of my old favorites, spam, red pimentos, velveeta cheese and mayo on saltine crackers? Have not had these treats since I was a kid, but thinking about mayo, makes me realize, that I need to have a mayo week at my house. My kids must know of these old culinary treasures. I did see, this morning on the TODAY show, a very cool commercial with a stunning 50ish, contemporary woman, (long silver hair), making a BLT for her, and her equally good-looking salt-and-pepper man, dipping and spreading mayo from a new, improved and hip, flip-top mayo container. It said something like "an old favorite in a new way"..... :)) but I would still do mustard on my island.....
Don’t forget though, that in the event one is really stuck on a desert island, mayo could be used as a good body butter and hair moisturizer.
Taste is truly subjective. I understand this very well. One man's caviar on toast points is another's Easy Cheese on Ritz. Having said that, mayonnaise is clearly the devil's spread. Scoop up a big spoonful of that jiggly white mass and leave it to sit in the sun for an hour and what's left is an opaque yellowish funk, redolent of rotten eggs and sulfur. Sulfur! I will admit to enjoying the occasional aioli. Infused with garlic and herbs, it does add a rather tasty layer of fat to my burger bun. But mayo and aioli are two very different beasts. Yes - I am an unconscionable snob, 'tis true. I understand the nostalgia that mayo can elicit, and for many, this nostalgia represents an artery clogging temptation that is irresistible. I would never presume to change the minds of mayo lovers; such love is intrinsic, sucked at the spongy teat of Wonder Bread and Oscar Meyer bologna. I would sooner attempt to convert Tom Cruise to Catholicism. But I know there are others like me out there. And that knowledge is comforting. And so, to my brother’s and sisters of Culinary Snobbery I say, “Get thee behind me, mayonnaise! Get thee behind me!”
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